im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
honey bunches of taint.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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