zippers are such a cool invention
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
