I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
