just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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