the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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