if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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