Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
