I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
