I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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