he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize