people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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