Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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