Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
