I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
