The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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