Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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