PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
3 2 1 whiskey
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
