well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
