Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I could fuck to npr.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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