I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
