First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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