"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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