hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
