Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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