escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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