new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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