We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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