dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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