Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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