Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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