Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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