How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
