Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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