They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
