just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
People in love make me want to vomit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
