I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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