I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
