it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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