Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
