She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
