Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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