He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
