I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
