She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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