i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
