you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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