THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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