i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
