Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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