Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
