You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
