Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
