i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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