Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
