i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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