i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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