Dude my mom stole all your condoms
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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