If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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