Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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